Why is a Naked Fairy Godmother Giving Directions?

Opened up a nice Chardonnay from Atwater Vineyards of Finger Lakes, NY and started to reminisce through my diary.  What a perfect pairing…

Diary Entry: – Thursday April 23, 1992  Buffalo, NY

nySometimes I think “If only I had made a left turn?”  Would I have made it to NYC?  Could I have became that famous actress that I always daydreamed about?  Performing on Broadway, in front of hundreds of people…Ritzy parties – mingling with the celebs.  Well, I’m Bartending in New York – Buffalo New York. (I know, I know, everything’s going to be OK).   Now I’m performing glass tricks – ‘getting pretty good if I say so myself.  I’ve met several Buffalo Bills, Hockey players, some mobsters, a few local celebs (Rick James) and a…Mortician.  I’ll call him my knight in Shining Armor.  Maybe this is my destiny.

Diary Entry:  Monday April 27, 1992  Snyder, NY

Told my friend Sabrina back home that I’m working across the street, from a ‘Funeral Home.  She thinks I should quit and move back to Miami.  Decided not to mention I have a little crush on one of the Funeral Guys.  During  the week the guys come over to vent, the new guy Morty is kind of cute – when he drinks.  Today he drank 4 Molson’s in 10 minutes, then…ordered a Jim Beam & Coke.   Before his first sip he decides to introduce himself, forgetting he already did last week.  When I told him “I met you last week” – he chugged his drink and said…”Well, how do you like me so far?”  Umm, better not piss him off he tips good…so, I said  “Well, if you make it through the night without becoming one of your own customers…I’ll let you know.”  He ordered another.

Then, Lafontaine walked in – I was star struck.  Okay…Ritzy Parties, riding in Limos or Late Dinners, getting picked up in a Hearse.   I rushed to get his drink order.  Suddenly I couldn’t move…the Mortician had a hold of my hand and blurted out “Hey, you know – I’m going to see you naked one day!”  Off went the hottest Hockey Player – ever!!  I should’ve thrown the rest of his drink…in his face.  Instead – I poured him another.   Why??  Because I didn’t make that left turn.  Maybe this is – the ONE?   I’m convinced my Fairy Godmother gave me directions?  The left turn, could have been…disastrous.  Either way, I think I’m suppose to have met this guy Morty…and with any Luck, maybe next week I’ll see HIM naked.  Unfortunately,  he will –  see us all Naked one day.  This is too weird.




  1. Love this post. It will be helpful to everyone who believes in Fairy Godmothers, including yours truly :). Keep up the good work – looking forward to more posts.

    • Wow – thank you. I appreicate your comment and “KEEP BELIEVING!!” Look forward to seeing you again.

      • Dear Fairy Godmother,Would love to borrow six caomadrn pods for tonight’s masala chai. The weather’s turning you know.Oh, and if it’s in the repertoire, I’d like one of those universal readers who sits on your shoulder and whispers sweet somethings in your ear as you’re writing a bit of word-to-the-wise stuff, a la Lawrence Ferlinghetti or Billy Collins, even Denise Levertov, Mary Oliver, you know the type I mean, right? a reader with an ear for music.Sweetest dreams.Duh Prinz uv Who kNowz Wut

  2. You are so awesome! I do not think I’ve truly read anything like that before. So wonderful to discover someone with a few unique thoughts on this subject matter. Seriously.. many thanks for starting this up. This site is something that’s needed on the web, someone with some originality!
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