Why is a Naked Fairy Godmother Giving Directions?

Opened up a nice Chardonnay from Atwater Vineyards of Finger Lakes, NY and started to reminisce through my diary.  What a perfect pairing…

Diary Entry: – Thursday April 23, 1992  Buffalo, NY

nySometimes I think “If only I had made a left turn?”  Would I have made it to NYC?  Could I have became that famous actress that I always daydreamed about?  Performing on Broadway, in front of hundreds of people…Ritzy parties – mingling with the celebs.  Well, I’m Bartending in New York – Buffalo New York. (I know, I know, everything’s going to be OK).   Now I’m performing glass tricks – ‘getting pretty good if I say so myself.  I’ve met several Buffalo Bills, Hockey players, some mobsters, a few local celebs (Rick James) and a…Mortician.  I’ll call him my knight in Shining Armor.  Maybe this is my destiny.

Diary Entry:  Monday April 27, 1992  Snyder, NY

Told my friend Sabrina back home that I’m working across the street, from a ‘Funeral Home.  She thinks I should quit and move back to Miami.  Decided not to mention I have a little crush on one of the Funeral Guys.  During  the week the guys come over to vent, the new guy Morty is kind of cute – when he drinks.  Today he drank 4 Molson’s in 10 minutes, then…ordered a Jim Beam & Coke.   Before his first sip he decides to introduce himself, forgetting he already did last week.  When I told him “I met you last week” – he chugged his drink and said…”Well, how do you like me so far?”  Umm, better not piss him off he tips good…so, I said  “Well, if you make it through the night without becoming one of your own customers…I’ll let you know.”  He ordered another.

Then, Lafontaine walked in – I was star struck.  Okay…Ritzy Parties, riding in Limos or Late Dinners, getting picked up in a Hearse.   I rushed to get his drink order.  Suddenly I couldn’t move…the Mortician had a hold of my hand and blurted out “Hey, you know – I’m going to see you naked one day!”  Off went the hottest Hockey Player – ever!!  I should’ve thrown the rest of his drink…in his face.  Instead – I poured him another.   Why??  Because I didn’t make that left turn.  Maybe this is – the ONE?   I’m convinced my Fairy Godmother gave me directions?  The left turn, could have been…disastrous.  Either way, I think I’m suppose to have met this guy Morty…and with any Luck, maybe next week I’ll see HIM naked.  Unfortunately,  he will –  see us all Naked one day.  This is too weird.


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